What are the signs? 

If a woman is forced to change her behaviour because she is frightened of her partner then she is being abused.  If she is experiencing any of the following then it’s likely that she’s being abused

• Is he jealous and possessive?
• Does he cut her off from family and friends and try to isolate her?
• Is he charming one minute and abusive the next, does he have sudden changes of mood  – like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde?
• Does he control her life – for example money, who she should see, what she should wear?
• Does he monitor her movements?
• Does he blame her for the abuse?
• Does he humiliate or insult her in front of others?
• Does he verbally abuse her?
• Does he constantly criticise her?
• Does he use anger and intimidation to frighten her and to make her comply with his demands?
• Does he tell her she’s useless and couldn’t cope without him?
• Has he threatened to hurt her or people close to her if she leaves?
• Does she change her behaviour to avoid making him angry and triggering an attack?
• Does he force her to have sex when she doesn’t want to?

And there are also many different ways of being abusive. Here are a few examples:

• Damaging a woman’s possessions.
• Smashing up the furniture.
• Threatening to kill the pets.
• Threatening to kidnap or get custody of the children if she leaves.
• Locking her out of the house during an argument.
• Terrorising her by driving fast or through red lights at high speed because he knows it frightens her.

The aim of the behaviour, whether conscious or unconscious – is to take control of the woman’s life. Domestic violence is an abuse of power – it’s all about power and control.

If you are being abused, it may help to remember this:

• You're not alone. One woman in four is abused during her lifetime.
• You don't have to deal with this on your own.
• The abuse is not your fault.
• You cannot change your partner.
• Domestic violence is against the law.